I don't know why people don't like me, sometimes it's just not a fit. Disregard I could live with, but there is a viciousness in the species, such a desperate viciousness that I am just incapable of comprehending.
So when I got sick, went down, part of me was like, 'I should go see a doctor,' but the truth is, most of me was like, 'Why?' Why fight it, I mean fuck it, if the stupid world really doesn't want me what am I fighting for?
I mean my dad, my brother...these are amazing guys with families, for them it matters.
Me...I've somehow managed to become something a lot of people seem to want to erase. No idea what that thing is, or why I piss them off so much, but boy they really needed to be certain I was aware aware of what a complete, thorough, and extraordinary asshole I am.
Really? Stay on earth for more of this? That? Them? All of it? All the stupid little petty loser bullshit? So they can send me more emails telling me how crappy I am and how crappy my art is and so they can stalk me after seven years of telling me how crappy I was and so more people can tell me how crappy I am every time I go out into the world and try to have a conversation but always seem to end up saying something stupid enough for the other person to tell me how crappy I am, and I go home every time beating myself over the head, wondering what it was I did this time, again, always something wrong, always the glances and looks and people walking away and I never know what I did...I never know...other than...show up. Exist.