I know it's sounding like I'm a martyr in all this, the picture of innocence and virtue wrongly assailed.  NOT SO!  I am human and I err.  I come with clearly delineated pain-in-the-ass traits.  But I don't hurt other people to save face.  I'm not viscous.  I don't gossip, betray, manipulate, concoct, connive, scam, or exploit.  I take responsibility for my actions and ownership of my lapses.  Mostly,  it would never even occur to me, still, to treat another human being as viciously as they seemed to  think it was okay to do as a matter of course, in the name of love and care and affection.  To the end of days I will be shocked by this.